Saturday, February 1, 2020

Writer's life and the daunting doubts

Well, certainly being a writer is not the easiest career in the world. All the fancy things you might figure out in your mind about being a writer, most of the time do not have any foundation of truth.
What is true is that there is a big satisfaction the moment you are sending your novel to be published, and it gives a sense of achievement when people start to react and interact with your new release.
Nevertheless, the work required before the manuscript is ready it has nothing to do with glory and inspiration.
For me, as an indie author, it means finding the time to write, researching for the most impossible bits of information. This, to make sure that the novel has solid grounds like you know what you are talking about, which generally, is not.
We gather information on the internet, asking friends, bothering social workers. We ask the colleague's uncle's cousin's friend who, seemingly, might have some knowledge about the topic you are writing about.
We search for the best way to murder someone or the time for a certain poison to have an effect.
Many times the search is stretching for days and weeks before we can actually go on to the next paragraph.
The bright side is that we get a wide, general knowledge about random things we might never use.
Besides this, and the editing, the tweaking, the rewriting processes, there is something that curses the nights of the indie author.
That is the time when we wake up in the middle of the night, after having sent the book to be published. Just when it is too late, and the next time we will be able to make any correction to the manuscript it arrives within 72 hours.

The daunting doubt.

"Were those twenty times I have been reading it through enough?"
The little nagging voice, during your sleep, will start whispering:
"What about that sentence? Are you sure it was good enough?"
"And have you checked for this kind of consistency?"
"Did you remember to put this edit?"
"Have you uploaded the right version or the unedited one?"
At that point, the poor author has completely lost the sleep and will go checking everything spending the whole night re-reading the version uploaded.
And if you think this is going to be all, think twice. The doubt will get back as soon as the first review arrives, a few positive reviews, and your heartbeat return to the normal pace, the blood pressure is getting normal, and the little nagging voice calms down.
Then one, not so positive, review.
All hell breaks loose, and the confidence gathered crashes down.
The little nagging voice starts screaming: "TOLD YA!"
And it will start an endless process to re-re-re-read and tweak one more,
ending up into a frustrating search for perfection, which will never arrive.

This, my dear friends, is the glamorous life of a writer, or better of an indie author.
With all the best intentions to spend a relaxing weekend, I wish you a great one.
Paula

1 comment:

  1. Such a great post. You definitely got it right. The author's angst never goes away. Best wishes!

    ReplyDelete

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